ca·ve·at emp·tor

ca·ve·at emp·tor

ˌkavēˌät ˈem(p)ˌtôr/

noun

1.    the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.

Usually when you hear this phrase, it's because someone has bought something they regret:  the TV they bought on Craigslist has dead pixels, the car they bought from a shady dealer has a busted radiator,  or the strawberries from the grocery store have mold.  Usually a savvy shopper will protect themselves before handing over their hard earned money by checking the goods first; turn on the TV, have a mechanic check the car, or inspect the berries first.

This gets difficult, however, when you are purchasing a service instead of a good.  How do you know your dentist isn't going to start pulling teeth randomly, or that you landlord isn't going to evict you with no notice or reason?  When it is an expensive service (like, say a WEDDING!) how can you make sure you aren't throwing away thousands of dollars, ruining a day that should be perfect?

Here are 5 tips to help you make sure your big day goes off without a regret.

1.  Get to know your vendors

The people you are buying these services from want your business - they wouldn't have a job otherwise.  Remember though, they are people too.  If you view them as nothing more than someone who works for you, that will clearly show through in your interactions with them and will thus make them less excited about your special day.  People naturally want to help those they like, and there is no faster way to get someone to like you than by being nice and treating them with respect.  If they feel as though you value your relationship with them, they are going to be more willing and likely to bend the rules or go the extra mile for you.  Conversely , recognize that simply giving someone money doesn't automatically remove their emotions and pride.  If you treat someone poorly and expect them to put up with it just because you are paying them, you can also expect your service to suffer.  On a day as important as a wedding, that could be disastrous. Avoid any unpleasant confrontations by simply remembering that you are dealing with humans, and humans have feelings too.

2.  Think carefully about who you invite

This kind of springboards off the last item, but definitely deserves its own entry:  I can't count how many times I have seen guests at a wedding act like it is just a big party thrown for them and nobody else.  Whether they drink too much, yell too loud, moon the camera in the photo booth, or mistreat the staff of the venue, having an unruly guest is a surefire way to make certain there is at least one uncomfortable (and potentially devastating!) situation to deal with on your big day.  Understandably this can be somewhat difficult situation to handle as there are people you will feel like you have to invite, and you can't just pretend they don't exist without damaging your relationships.  Carefully consider your guest list and try to weed out any potentially disruptive or abusive people.  If you find someone you think will cause a scene but absolutely can't, cut make sure you sit them down well in advance and clearly state your expectations for their behavior. It will be an uncomfortable conversation, but I guarantee it will be much better than having someone get thrown out of your reception or having the cops show up at your ceremony.

3.  Read your contract

Most vendors you work with will have some sort of rental agreement or contract to sign outlining the costs of the services provided and the expectations for each party involved.  Many of these will be as simple as a receipt saying "you are paying $X.YZ for ABC," especially if you are buying a good rather than a service.  Many vendors (DJs, photographers, and venues in particular) will often have more detailed and in depth contracts outlining exactly the nature, duration, and expectations for the services you are buying.  With these longer contracts it is absolutely imperative that you read and understand every detail before signing; this especially holds true where alcohol is involved (i.e. hiring an open bar or renting at a venue that serves alcohol) because these vendors are required by law to ensure certain standards of behavior for their customers.  The contracts you sign will outline these expectations specifically because enforcing these laws can be uncomfortable and arduous when the client isn't expecting it, and nobody will risk their liquor license to bend the rules for any one customer no matter how much money they get for it.  Contracts can hold valuable information too: when you can expect your photographs from the photographer, when the cake will be delivered, what time the venue opens, and much more that you need to know to coordinate a party for over a hundred people.  Read your contract!

4.  Have a point-person

A point-person is someone you can point to and say "ask them" when someone approaches you with an issue on your big day.  Usually this is either the mother of the bride or the maid of honor, but anyone with good organizational skills who knows a lot of the guests will work.  Leading up to the event this person will help you coordinate vendors, plan decorations, organize seating charts, and much more - anything that is too big for one person to do, this is the person that will help you do it.  The real work, however, is on the day of the event.  A good point-person will continue being a leader throughout the wedding and reception, taking that burden off you so you can truly embrace one of the happiest days of your life.  Communicating with guests, checking in with the photographer, mediating disagreements between vendors and guests, coordinating last minute decorations, and whatever else needs doing will be picked up by a good point-person.  Choosing the right person is important, and remember that to get the right person you can always reach outside your immediate wedding party.  If you want your maid of honor to enjoy the party with you, or if your mother wants to just enjoy her son or daughter's big day too, feel free to reach out to other guests and important people in your life.  Getting the right person for this job will make absolutely everything else run more smoothly. 

5.  Don't rely on family for unpaid work

This is tempting when trying to plan a wedding on a budget: "mom is a great cook so let's have her do the catering!  Or better yet, let's do a potluck!"  In theory this is a great way to save some money, but in practice this can quickly lead to disaster for a multitude of reasons.  Photographers don't just charge a lot of money because they can get away with it; there is a significant equipment cost, years of training, and a remarkable amount of work that goes into being a professional.  Likewise, caterers have the right gear, and experience, to feed hundreds of people safely and efficiently.  DJs have the skill and library to make your event special.  When you foist these jobs on amateurs, you are guaranteeing subpar services and putting a strain on a loved one.  If your loved one isn't an amateur but does this job for a living, you are asking them to give you a service they normally charge a lot of money for, and work on a day they should be having fun.  It can be very tempting to cut costs in these areas by asking family, but in the long run the cost of your memories being tarnished or the strain on your relationships will far outweigh the monetary costs.

Planning a wedding is a tremendous amount of work, and when you put that much work into anything (much more so on such an important occasion) the stress can become almost unbearable.  One way to help reduce that stress is to plan carefully and be confident that you won't have any post reception regrets by following these five helpful tips.